Wednesday, 3 June 2015


I'm done writing about memories. 

Let's make new ones shall we? 

A few weeks ago

I was out and about celebrating life and ignoring all the hardship that I am going through. After all life is hard but compared to what? 

So some friends decided to take me on a journey down the path that I used to take back then. You know coffee intoxication. There were music, hot girls dancing... It has only been 2 years and the girls at that place, they are all so young or maybe it's just me... I'm getting old. 

Seorang kawan rapatkan bibir ke telinga aku. 

"You know, this happened before. You were so emotionally dense and I think it is happening now. I hate taking you out for a drink when you have this wall. You no fun".

Sorry to dissapoint you, she didn't lick nor nibble my ear.

This female friend of mine, she is just like me, fucked up in the mind and well heart. But she can always take a few shots of alcohol and put everything behind until the next morning and I can't. 

The night went on, sent her home, tuck her in bed...

Cuma bezanya kali ni daripada empat tahun dulu, I woke up on the couch instead of someone else's bed.

So this how time changes a broken man huh?

Sunday, 24 May 2015

After a long night

I woke up with a heartache err I mean headache...

Tuesday, 19 May 2015


"You know one of these days, you are going to find someone who you'd love so much that you are willing to give up everything in life, more than what you are doing for me. Because that is you, you never love anyone the same way and you never settle for less. You never give anyone anything less than what that person actually deserves". 

These were her words to me and I still remember it even after years of being without her. 

It's amazing for someone to know so much about you in just months, in the midst of all the commotion that we had gone through a person managed to remember a lot of things about you. It was funny how I can do the same and it became a habit or a curse however you wish to see it.

It was a tough situation for a 19 year old boy who'd be sitting for his final exam soon at the same time taking time off school for 3 months to try to make up for lost time with the girl who he loves dearly.

But then again that's my past. Something that I have left behind years ago.

It's just that the memories that I still have with me are so beautiful that they never fail to tempt me to immortalize them here.

Now, let's just wait...

Friday, 1 May 2015


Seorang kawan kata, I have to move on. It has been 7 years and I should leave her alone, she is in a better place and stuff.

You see, I have moved on. Aku terima apa yg berlaku as fated. 

Satu benda yang tak semua orang faham, I love writing about her, about us. About how she was with me during her final moments in life. The memories give me a mixture of happines and emotional atmosphere and I like it. Aku suka sebab dalam setiap bait-bait ayat itu ada dia, she is in every single letters, she is even in one single dot of ink if I was writing using a pen.

Trust me, I have moved on. She is no longer in my life. 

And I'm going to immortalise her in my writing... 

At least until I'm ready to let go of the memories.