A Season In Hell, bukan prosa Arthur Rimbaud

This feeling shall last,
it will stay,
just like when you are beside me.

Tapi ini sekadar perasaan. Feelings would compell a person to do things that is way beyond stupidity.

Cuma perasaan yang ada ini, ada masalah untuk menghadapi rejection.

Pilihan yang selamat, go with the flow atau pendamkan sahaja.

I'll go with the second one. Telling a gurl about how I feel towards her requires too much work. Maybe I've lost the spirit, maybe I'm getting old for this.

So I guess, the feeling shall last but she'll not be by my side.

Life is a bitch

Seorang kawan pernah kata pada aku, katanya jangan terlalu memilih dalam mencari teman wanita.

WTH?

Aku tahu semua orang dah bosan dengan cerita ini, I just have to let it out.

Being with a girl is not like buying a guitar. Kalau guitar tu ada problem you can always sell it and get a new one.

Being with a girl is like shaping a whole new world. Elemen utama yang mendorong kau mencipta dunia baru ialah perempuan yang betul. Call me corny or cheesy or even cliche sebab kalau kau bercinta, kau tak akan boleh lari daripada benda-benda lapuk macam tu.

Perkara ini sangat kompleks, emosi manusia itu sendiri kompleks.

Aku tak boleh cipta dunia dengan perempuan yang salah. Kalau terjadi sekalipun, aku tak mahu dunia yang aku cipta bersama-bersama perempuan itu terus mendung dan hujan.

Tahun ini genap 20 tahun aku hidup. Aku dah lalui macam-macam keadaan dan jumpa macam-macam jenis perempuan.

Orang kata aku memilih, true, aku tak nafikan semua tu. Semua orang berhak memilih.

Aku cuma mahu seorang perempuan yang mampu nyalakan perasaan itu. Perempuan yang mampu buat jantung aku berdegup lebih daripada kadar normal.

Tapi masalah timbul disini, manusia tidak akan dapat semua yang dimahukan.

Jadi sehingga ada perempuan yang mampu wujudkan perasaan itu dan dia mampu terima segala yang ada pada aku, aku akan teruskan hidup.

Apa yang aku belajar dalam hidup, perasaan itu sesuatu yang sangat rigid bagi sesetengah orang. Bukan mudah untuk kita pergi kepada seorang perempuan dan kata "I love you", dia tersenyum dan terus jadi teman kau sampai kau berhenti bernafas.

Hidup kau mungkin simple, semua orang mungkin anggap hidup dia simple, ringkas macam ikat tali kasut. Tapi bila berurusan dengan perasan ramai yang akan sedar bahawa semua dalam hidup ini kompleks dan bukan semua benda boleh dibentuk mengikut kehendak sendiri.

Sebab kalau boleh, aku tak akan tulis entri ini dan kau juga kawan-kawan aku yang risau aku tukar sexual orientation mungkin akan dapat tengok teman wanita aku.

This is life and reality not some Hollywood movies.

Here in life

Its here for real. I wish I could reach deep inside and make it go away. I'm tired of all this feelings...

Please make it go away or give me the miracle so I could make her mine...

Something new for the people pt. 2

So now since women always says that guys are the main factor in rape cases, I've come up with a few solutions to solve this problem.

You guys should really think about this, since raping is a wrong thing to do we should make things right. How?

Provide license for rapist. Look at it this way, if you don't drivers license it is illegal (according to the law) to drive road vehicle. By providing rapist with license it wont be wrong to rape anymore, you can now rape freely without hesitation. As for the victim, you don't have to worry about anything, all of you are in good hands.

Next thing, in the process of obtaining the "rapist license" they should be taught about the ethics of raping (like there is any) for example, being polite in raping someone.

"Miss sorry if I'm bothering you, I just need a fraction of your time. Do you mind if I rape you?"

In some cases the feedback would me a massive blow but you can always try to use the magic word which is "please". I'm sure you kindergarten teacher taught you this.

In the process of obtaining the license all the rapist to be should be highly trained. No, not that you silly, they should really train their eyes. There is a case where a man raped an 80 year old granny. What the hell is that? That's what happens if you didnt get the rapist license first, you should be trained by professional to do this. Don't do mak cik or nenek or mak orang try to find something more promising.

Next on the list, you can gain the confidence of all you future victims by having convincing tag lines. For example you can do it in a positive way like:

"Teenage rapist, we rape you the right way!"

You see this will give less frightening vibe to all the girls out there.

Last but not least, please dear rapist... Stick to the opposite sex. If you are a guy go rape some girls and if you are a girl, go and find guys. Don't do it the other way around.

You see, now you can even start your own raping business, "Rapist Sdn. Bhd".

With the license and all the given guidelines I'm sure there'll be some improvements and

"Now everyone can rape!"

ATTN: Entri ini hanya untuk tujuan hiburan, walaupun agak keji tapi nak buat macam-mana? Suka hati penulis la.

A long time ago

I was with a girl, a very-very hot girl yet inside of her was filled with endless jealousy. Maybe god made her that way, there's nothing I can do to help her.

Back then I had a lot of girl friends (now I dont have any, so my future girlfriend dont have to worry about this following occurence), I hang out with my girlfriends, movie, shopping and stuff (I'm not gay, its just that guys dont like to hang out with me, that doesnt mean I'm a pussy or stuff like that).

Back to the story,

So one day she bumped into me with one of my friend, girlfriend that is, because the friend was a girl.

She looked at me with her big eyes right in the middle of the crowd and she walked to me as fast as she could. She could win the Olympics if she wanted to.

There she was, right infront of me, with her big eyes and I suppose was very furious and she exploded like a demon on crack!

Girl: "What are you doing here! You told me you were out with some friends?! What the hell is this?"

Imagine a girl yelling at you in the middle of KLCC, man I felt like a rockstar.

Man: "What am I doing? I'm out with my friend? This is a friend of mine her name is..."

She didn't give me the chance to explain she kept going on...

Girl: "You told me that you want to go out with your friend?! Wth is this girl doing here?! What do you think I am? Stupid? Blind? Retarded?"

Me: "Looking at your condition now I would say that you are stupid and retarded, obviously you are not blind. Only a complete idiot would say that"

I just walked away and left her there...

Maybe this is the reason I'm still single. Damn

Something new for the people

Attenttion: Entri ini agak keji sedikit. Mungkin sebab aku dah lama tak update blog jadi the first entry for this month akan jadi sedikit keji dan sesetengah pembaca. Mungkin juga lepas kau baca, kau akan report blog aku dan aku kena banned.

Jadi untuk mengelakkan perkara-perkara ini daripada berlaku aku terpaksa tulis entri ini dalam bahasa Inggeris. Because you can get away with practically almost everything if you write in English (or that's what I thought).

Girl: "Hey what are you doing?"

Me: "Watching tv, why?"

Girl: "Nothing, what movie?"

Me: "I don't know, I just watch it because there is this one hot girl, she is flamming hot!"

Girl: "Yeah all guys are like that, no wonder girls are being raped"

Me: "Oh yeah? So when can we go out?"

Girl: "I dont know, why?"

Me: "So I can rape you when we meet, you know that what guys do to girls"

Girl: "Erghhhh"

To be continued...

This is new to the old folks

Mak aku dan semua orang tua lain (not saying my mom is old, sorry mom) semua sibuk memikirkan macam-mana keadaan kalau dapat menantu. Aku agak pening when people asking my mom "bila nak langsung? Anak awak dah bujang ni".

Bila aku dengar aku terfikir, apa aku nak cakap untuk counter soalan yang ditanya oleh orang-orang tua. Either aku nak cakap "macam-mana nak kahwin tak ada orang nak?" atau "Don't bother asking I'm gay". I'll go with the first one.

So the conversation leads to this thing right here:

Aunty: So bila lagi nak langsung?

Mom: Jauh lagi, banyak lagi benda dia kena buat before kahwin.

Aunty: Ye jugak, dia tak sambung belajar lagi. Lagi leceh if dapat hantu*, bukan menantu.

Aku dari belakang menyampuk.

Me: I thinks "hantu" is not something that you should worry about. Lagi risau kalau dapat menantu lelaki kan?

Kedua-dua mereka pandang aku dengan mata terbeliak.

You see there is more to worry about then just hantu punya menantu.

*Hantu = daughter in law yang fussy or posh or maybe a bitch.

Enigma

Aku tahu aku sedang buat kesilapan yang maha besar pada diri sendiri...

Aku tak sepatutnya hidup dalam memori but then aku rasa banyak yang ada dalam memori untuk dibiarkan lebur begitu sahaja. Terlalu banyak benda dalam memori yang aku rasa jika dicampak jauh-jauh ruginya seperti kau langgar Mercedes bapak kau dekat pokok.

Aku masih tunggu jawapan yang betul kepada soalan "Kenapa aku masih single?"

Plan...

Aku sedang berkira-kira untuk mewujudkan lagi satu weblog... You know another one that reflects the more pathetic side of mine. Maybe blog itu aku buat sebagai dedikasi untuk memori dalam hidup.

Okay, I know I'm getting mellow here... But then its normal, people have emotions.

So for old time's sake, I'm ressurecting The Living Chapter...

Big question!!!!

I have a very big, not very stupid kind of question...

Why am I still single?

Atau

Kenapa aku masih single?

Ada siapa-siapa boleh jawab???