It was a gloomy evening, 6 years ago before everything ended a few weeks after. She was fighting for her life and I was with her trying to take her mind away from her fear. I was reading Kafka's short stories while she was lying down on her bed.
Tiba-tiba suaranya menyapa aku:
"Baby, why do you love reading Kafka so much?".
Franz Kafka, my favourite reality of all times. Bila aku rasa dunia ni mula jadi mengelirukan and of course unreal, I turn to books. When I feel stupid, I turn to books. But when you make me feel stupid, I'll make you feel more stupid. But that's another story.
Jawapan spontan yang keluar dari mulut aku:
"Because I have the most beautiful things in life now and it feels too good to be true, I need to get in touch with reality".
Dia tanya lagi:
"But I thought I was your reality", sambil mengalirkan airmata.
She was so emotional during her last days with me. Maybe she knew what was coming. Maybe she knew that the chemo isn't working.
I held her hand and kissed her forehead... Sambil berkata dalam hati.
"We both know that we are each others' reality and we both know that it wont last".